......BLAMED.....

Since I was still a month old, my grandma was the one who took care of me because both of my parents was still working. She took good care of me in the province. At the age of 3 years old my parents fetch me from the province. They took me from grandma because my mother decided to stop working so that can take care of me and to her other incoming children.
Even if I am away from my grandma I can still see her. She goes to our house in the city everytime there are important occasions like birthdays and ofcourse,the Sinulog. My lola is a devoted Santo Nino fan.Everytime she wanted to attend mass during the Sinulog celebration, I am always the one she wnted to be with her to guide her the right way. She also gives money to us, her grandchildren, before she leaves us. Eventhough she do not really have enough money, she still gives us what she has, even a one coin just to make us smile.
For me, my grandma is the best grandma in the whole wide world. I love her so much. I always include her to my prayers. I asked God to give her good health and a longer life.
One day, at the age of 14, we received a text message saying that my grandma was confined in a provincial hospital because of her unending cough. After receiving this news, my mother immediately went to that hospital to see if grandma is okay. I was not able to go with my mother and visit grandma because no one will be left in our house. That time, I really wanted to visit my grandma. Everynight before sleeping I always pray to God to take care of my grandma. I prayed to Him not to take grandma away from me because it will really really hurt me. When my mother arrived she said that grandma was already okay and she will soon be released from the hospital. My mother also said that grandma was looking for me and asking why I was not able to visit her last vacation as what I promised to her. Weeks later, my grandma was really released from the hospital.
On June 26, 2005, a shocking text message arrived. It says that my grandma is already dead. I was so shocked that I do not already know what to do, if i would cry or what. I took an absence for 2 days because our family is going to the province and attend grandma's burial ceremony. When we arrived at grandma's house there were many people. This people seems like staring me as I passed. I did not went immediately near the coffin. I do not want to see grandma's face. I was afraid to look at her. When my aunts saw me, they said that grandma was always looking for me. They also asked me why I was not able to go there last vacation. I was speechless and tears started to form in my eyes, ready to fall. I can feel that the people surrounding me were blaming me of grandma's death. I do not want to look at the face of grandma because I am afraid if her eyes will open suddenly and asking me why I did not made my promise to her. I did not look at grandma's face until before the day of her burial. I looked at her face and and I cried so hard as I can. I asked myself why I loose my favorite grandma, my 2nd mother and the grandma I loved the most. I asked myself if am I really the reason of grandma's death. Her face was so sad and she was so thin. I thought to myself after seeing grandma that even if she is not her with me she will always be my favorite grandma.